Fun/Jokes

Christmas day 2009 and this site is the number one football site on Web Jam

From Gary_TheGooner Jnr

For the Ladies: Please read these rules carefully before entering a long term relationship with an Arsenal fan

For the Gents: Please ensure your latest notch on your goal post is reminded of these rules before things get serious:

1) No phoning during the match

2) For a 3 o clock KO on a Saturday, dont expect me to be around to do anything between noon and 8pm

 3) If its a big game and we win, dont expect me home for dinner

4) If i choose to go abroad, your not coming, deal with it

5) If we lose, lets just f**k rather then make love

6) Yes, I do love arsenal more then you

7) If we win and I choose to watch MoTD, please dont annoy me with stupid questions

8) No texting during a match

9) If we lose, NEVER say the words "its only a game"

10) If we lose, dont ask me whats wrong, thats just a stupid question.

11) We will have subscription to Arsenal TV....No arguments

12) Arsenal on the TV takes priority over anything. Including child birth, i'm sure the baby can hold on for 90 mins

13) I would turn gay for Cesc Fabregas

14) When the boys come round for football on the tele, I only want to see you if you are brining beers to us

15) A mans arsenal shirt and socks is much sexier on you then any underwear or nurses uniform you may own

16) If you want to plan a wedding in advance, make it a Thursday, as that is the only day I can gaurantee arsenal wont play

17) Dont ask what happens on the pre season tour to Amsterdam, it will only upset you

18) Me going to a game can not be used to justify you going on a girls night out

19) Me going abroad to follow the arsenal can not justify you having a girls weekend in Edinburgh

20) If any of your family are spurs fans, dont be suprised for family do's to end in a fight

21) Owning last seasons shirt is no good reason not to buy this seasons.

22) If I must tape an Arsenal game and the only tape in the house is that of our wedding I will go straight ahead.

23) If I start shouting "TONY ADAMS" during sex you are not to complain.

24) If you ever say that Nicklas Bendtner is cute it is over

25) Me spending £1000 on a Season Ticket does not justify you spend £200 on a new pair of shoes and a bag to match

26) Me spending £40 on a game ticket does not justify you buying Take That tickets

27) If we have kids, I will name them: Girl; Francesca, Denise or Roberta, Boy; Terry Henry, Tony or Nwankwo

28) Me singing footy songs/chants does not mean you can sing any pop hit.

29) The photo in my wallet is supposed to be of Emmanuel Eboue and not you.

30) My religion is Arsenal, Jesus is not an Arsenal player and can rightly f**k off.

31) Yes, ive been to the game, yes ive watched football first, yes ive watch MOTD, but do not moan when i watch MOTD again sunday morning rather then cook your breakfast

32) Yes, all the arsenal players are sexy, but only i am allowed to say that

33) Arsenal bed covers are not childish

34) Regardless of how good I actually am at playing football you will encourage me and say that maybe one day Arsene will be watching.

35) You will learn how to pronouce all the players names properly (and yes, that does include the reserves and youth team)

36) If you even think about asking how the offside rule works you will be hit faster than you can say "I walked into a door".

37) I work hard to go to football, not pay for you

38) I dont care if its Peggy's funeral, Arsenal in a CL group stage dead rubber is more important

39) When we move house, the most important factor is how far from highbury it is, not where your friends/family live

40) If I choose to watch arsenal 2-0 win at Liverpool to win the title or the invincibles repeatedly, and cry at the end I shall

41) I will invite all the Arsenal players to our 10th Wedding Anniversary, if they do not accept you are not allowed to invite anyone in their place.

42) The picture of me with my best mates friend who is the cousin of the guy who cuts Thierry Henry's hair is not coming down from above the bed.

43) You will grow a David Seaman style moustache, if you are unable to grow one we will pay for the treatment (you will pay for the treatment).

44) My pet goldfish Cesc and Kolo are more valuable then your Chihuahuas Paris and Britney

45) No I will not have a picture of you on my phone....It will always be the arsenal badge

46) The spare bedroom shall not be used as your walk in wardrobe...it shall be used as a shrine to the Arsenal.

47) I dont care if its your parents golden wedding anniversary, i'm going to the arsenal

48) Crying when arsenal win a major trophy does not make me a baby

49) You must only think of one thing when i mention this number

50) Want a divorce? thats ok, I still have the arsenal. BYE!

Meet the "God Father"

Thanks to Gooner 1965

garythegooner.co.uk 2-0 arsenal.com

arsenal.com should take a leaf out of garythegooner.co.uk's book and get the score correct!!

 14/03/2009 Arsenal 4-0 Blackburn Rovers

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